The 8 Phases of a Crash

Phase 1- The Calm Before the Storm
You're riding down the road, a happy camper. You've just finished 4 hard efforts up Usery Pass. Happily, you reach down to grab your water bottle.

Phase 2- "Oh no, I'm going to crash."
Suddenly, there's swerving. You're going back and forth across the road, your bike beginning to bounce at 22 mph. Your dad says the word "woah!" progressively louder and louder. It all begins to spin. You know that it's about to happen. You're about to crash. It's going to hurt.

Phase 3- Smack
Your final swerve brings you flying into the ground. For what seems like an eternity, you soar in the air, praying to God that gravity has stopped working. Then "BANG!". Every side of your body seems to hurtle into the pavement. It happens quickly, but the feeling is so familiar. The pain. The shock.

Phase 4- "What Happened?"
Dazed and confused, you try to rouse your self from the ground as quickly as possible. A feeling of panic surges over you. You look around. Everything is on the ground. Scattered like a bomb just went off. Almost shivering with pain, you say to yourself "What did you just do to yourself???"

Phase 5- "Sorry Dad!!!"
You try to appear as if you're perfectly fine so your dad doesn't freak out. Express your sorrow, and that you didn't mean to crash. You explain everything.

Phase 6- "Well, wanna go home now."
The shock period is over with. Now it is just time to get the pain over with by getting home.

Phase 7- "Um, hi Mom."
The most awkward part of the crash. Your mother can't stand the thought of you crashing, so it's always best to just be direct. Instead of having your dad tell her that you crashed, just walk into the house and let her see the road rash.

Phase 8- Clean Up the Mess You've Made.
Time to pick rocks out, shower, scrub, and put bandages on. All you can do is move on.

Luckily for me, this was a rather slow speed crash. Hopefully, it won't take me out of riding for a very long time. Give me the end of the week and I'll be back into the swing of things.